Running

Running has been a constant since getting my life sorted out somewhere around 33 yrs of age.  Whenever I hear the Sopranos theme song ("Got myself together, got myself a gun") I think "Got my life together, went out for a run". 
So what's it really all about?  People often ask me how I stay motivated.  I don't really know.  It may be a safe spot to hide my addictive personality!  I guess I just look at what's in it for me. 
When I first started, it was a way to clear my mind. 
Headed for separation/divorce, it gave me a chance to pound frustrations out on the pavement through the soles of my shoes. 
Once separated, it gave me a sense of belonging to something, of being committed.  It helped pass the evenings, gave me something to look forward to every day.  It helped me stay away from bitter thoughts, booze, fleeting relationships, unhealthy habits, and endless ruminating.
It helped ease me from workaholism; got me away from the computer.  It gave my life balance.  It lowered my blood pressure (low to start with).  It kept me healthy.  It gave my legs a better shape.  It was time just for me.
It kept me company when my soldier was far away.  It kept me sane when I thought I might go mad.
It was an opportunity to communicate with my daughter long before she was born and for years after.  How many runs did she go on with me when she was still in my belly?  How many runs did she enjoy in the jogger stroller?  First, she would face me, sometimes sleeping, sometimes smiling, sometimes just watching.  Then she turned to face the world.  How it opened up to her!
Then, when she got too big, it was back to running alone.  Sometimes at 3:30 in the morning, sometimes at 6:00 in the evening.  In the early morning, I can hear the chanting from the mosques; see the early risers off to pray ... I often think of that time as my own prayer time, celebrating my health, thinking about my family, my life. 
These days, I don't get up that early.  Exhaustion has set in; our lives really are too busy.  Mostly I only get out to run on the weekends.  This morning, I ran 1 km outside, then 4 on the treadmill.  I don't much like the treadmill, but the desert heat is really tough, so the treadmill has to do.  I will get back to running early mornings, but for a little bit I need to slow down.  That's ok.  I've run 7 days a week, I've run 1 day a week.  But for the last 8 years, I've always run.
No matter where, no matter how often, I've remained committed.  At home, on vacation, it's such a big part of my life.  I'm not very fast, and I'm not that strong, but I'm faithful, committed, and enthusiastic.  No matter how hard it is to get out, I always feel better once I have.  I've run in the rain, in the snow, in the sand; I've run morning, I've run night.  I've run inside, I've run outside; I've even run on the water (on a cruise ship!).  I've run in Canada, in Qatar, in Dubai, in Venice, in Thailand, in the Swis Alps, in the Maldives.  It's always good.
I don't know that it's motivation.  I'm pretty sure it's passion.  I would be devastated if I could not run.  It wouldn't ruin my life, it wouldn't take away my will to live, but it would leave an awful scar.  It's not a commitment, it's just a part of my life.  It's exercise, but it's way more than that.  It's nourishment for my mind, my soul, my body.  Some days it does take motivation, but I wouldn't be motivated if I weren't passionate!
So I run ...